Untaken Family Photos | Veterans Day
There’s almost nothing I understand about war — why it’s so prevalent, how easily it’s provoked (and how difficult it is to end), how politicians can justify waging it for selfish ends, how wantonly it wastes human lives…I also can’t begin to comprehend the sacrifices made by those who’ve served. Reflecting on this yesterday, I felt immense gratitude. For those who made it home. For the life and family I have as a result.
And alongside gratitude, sadness and confusion. I can no longer muster up the simple patriotic pride I felt as a kid watching John Wayne plant a flag on Iwo Jima or the single-minded bravery of Saving Private Ryan. How many family photos has each conflict left untaken? How many lives were traded to move pieces of colored cloth across imaginary map lines? Why is my way of life so intimately connected to the ending of other–mostly young, mostly poor–lives around the globe? And how many bodies returned––alive, but bearing shattered minds and souls?
We see the effects of war everyday in our cities, effects that go far beyond heroism and valor. Crime, homelessness, addiction, militarized police forces — these too are costs of war. These are the costs our society can least afford to acknowledge. They mean the righteous conqueror does not return unscathed, and ‘winning’ resembles losing all too closely.
The truth is, my Pop Pop (depicted in the images accompanying this post) never much liked to speak of his time in World War II. He wasn’t one of the ones utterly destroyed by war, but the effects lingered on him nonetheless. The Judge (a label used with equal measures affection, reverence, and fear), was jovial with his wife and grandchildren; serious and exacting with most everyone else. While he was still living, I hoped he’d share epic tales matching the movies playing in my head. Now, I wonder what he never managed to unsee.
So why is a yearning for peace often vilified as unpatriotic? Brands, talk shows and sports leagues spend a week or a day honoring Veterans each year. They reunite families, donate vehicles, emblazon flags, and celebrate stories of bravery big and small. But couldn’t the best way to respect Veterans — the only ones who truly understand the cost of war––be striving to create as few of them as possible?
Like I said, there’s plenty I don’t understand…
